The Dilemma in the Dream
by Mezzo187
Summary: If your subconscious was trying to tell you something, would you listen?  Booth struggles with the various relationships in his life, seeking help from an old friend to reconcile his dreams and actions.  Set sometime after the season 6 premiere.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **All characters, etc. are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement intended.

**Author's Note: **My first fanfic here. Let me know what you think.

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**The Dilemma in the Dream**

Seeley Booth sighed with contentment as he leaned against the arm of the sofa in his living room. His legs were stretched out in front of him, and in between, wrapped in his arms, was his wife. He tightened his arms around her now obviously pregnant stomach, squeezing just a tiny bit to let her—and in his mind, their baby—know how much he loved them.

"Bones, I love you so much," he said. "I can't believe our little girl will be here in two months."

Dr. Temperance Brennan couldn't see his face, but she heard the smile in her husband's voice and knew the goofy, delighted expression which was likely on his face. "It could be a little sooner—I'm sure she can't wait to meet her daddy and her big brother." She was smiling with contentment, as well.

They spent another moment just enjoying each other's company before they heard the sound of little-boy feet rapidly approaching.

"Hey Dad, hey Bones!" Parker said. "I just beat the next-to-last level in my video game!"

"Good job, little man!" Booth said with pride. "Once your sister gets old enough, you'll need to teach her how to play." He grinned at his son. Booth was so happy Parker had adapted well to the changes in his life.

At the mention of his sister, Parker looked thoughtful. He glanced at his dad, then at Brennan. "Bones, after the baby comes, she'll be calling you 'Mom' or 'Momma,' right?"

Brennan smiled. She was looking forward to this very much. "Yes, Parker, I'm sure she will." She and Booth both wondered where he was going with this question. But Parker, like most kids his age, was very direct and open about his thoughts and feelings most of the time. He wasted no time in saying what was on his mind.

"Should I start calling you 'Mom' then too?" he asked. Brennan hadn't been expecting this question, and Booth gave her another squeeze to indicate she had his support no matter how she wanted to proceed. She looked at Parker, trying to gauge his emotions. He just looked interested in her answer, without showing any signs of being uncomfortable about the subject.

"Well, Parker," Brennan began, choosing her words carefully," I am your stepmother, but I know you have a Mom whom you love very much." She looked into the earnest face of her stepson, the little boy she had come to love as much as a biological son. "So you can call me whatever name makes you most comfortable. Only you and your dad are allowed to call me 'Bones,' so you can keep calling me that if you want." She smiled at him, hoping he could see that she was serious and not upset that he did not call her "Mom." She knew how important the bonds were between a parent and child.

"What if I wanted to call you 'Mom?' Would that be OK too?" Parker asked, taking a step closer to his dad and stepmom. He had thought for a while about this before deciding to ask Bones this question. He felt like she was as much a "mom" to him as his mom was—she always asked how things were going at school, helped him with his homework, helped him tease his dad, read him stories…

Brennan had never expected him to ask her that. She felt a surge of emotions course through her, threatening to manifest in happy tears. Booth had never felt more proud of or close to his son at that moment, that Parker felt that much of a connection with his wife, his Bones, to ask her this.

Smiling a beatific smile, she answered, "Yes, Parker, that would be more than OK." She paused, wanting to reinforce that he could make this choice himself. "But only if and when you want to do that." He had moved close enough that she was able to reach a hand out to wrap loosely around his arm in a gesture of affection.

Parker smiled back at his parents. "Good. Then I'm going to start calling you 'Mom' right now. Except maybe not when my mom is around too—that might get weird." He knew adults could be funny about this kind of thing, though he didn't really understand why.

Booth reached out his closest arm and brought Parker into a three-person hug. "I think that's great, bub." He couldn't think of anything else to say to convey how happy he was.

His wife took care of that: "Hey Parker, want to come snuggle on the couch with us and watch a movie? I have really started to enjoy the animated ones, since you and your dad informed me that they are not supposed to be realistic." Parker knew that her smile was sincere—she really wanted him to join them. That was one of the things he didn't always get at this mom's house—she often wanted to have "private time" with her boyfriend, whichever one it was.

He gave her a good rendition of the classic "Booth" grin. "Yeah, Mom, that would be great. I have a new one in my backpack that we haven't watched together yet. I'll go get it." He gave Bones a little peck on the cheek before running off to his room.

Brennan and Booth were momentarily speechless, absorbing this new state of affairs. Booth spoke first, repeating the relatively new word.

"Mom," he said warmly, close to the ear of his wife, still marveling that his son had decided on his own to grant that title to his stepmother.

"Mom," Bones repeated, the wonderment and happiness evident in her voice. "That's one word I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing."

Booth closed his eyes as he waited for Parker to return with the DVD. He was jarred out of his momentary reverie by the sound of his first name.

"Seeley?" the female voice asked.

Booth's eyes were still closed, and his brain was trying to process this information without much success. 'Why is Bones calling me Seeley? She never calls me that, she knows I don't like it.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note**: Thanks to all who've read the first chapter and added alerts. :) I'm sure some of you have a good idea about the identity of the mystery voice. ;)

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**Chapter 2**

The voice was becoming more insistent, and Booth felt a hand on his shoulder. "Seeley? Wake up. What kind of weird dream were you having?" Hannah Burley's voice was now clear to his befuddled senses.

He was in his bed, in his apartment, and the woman beside him waking him from the most wonderful dream he had ever had was not his wife. She was his girlfriend, the one he had met in Afghanistan while trying to move past the woman who still haunted his mind and dreams.

Hannah was talking to him again. 'Listen, Booth,' he told himself. 'Hopefully I didn't say anything to upset her.'

"Why on earth were you saying 'Mom' like that? Were you channeling Parker or something? Getting in touch with your inner child?" she kidded him, though she was secretly very curious as to why her boyfriend would say the word "Mom" with such love and reverence, especially in a dream.

Booth looked at her expression, only seeing curiosity and not concern or jealousy, which is what she would have been feeling if Hannah knew what Booth was really dreaming about.

"Yeah, something like that. First I was watching Parker play, then I was the kid playing, then I was with my mom again. It's been a long time she I had anyone to call 'Mom.'" He tried to keep his voice as even as possible, but he still have strong emotions associated with his own mother whom he had lost so young, leading to some of the most painful years of his life.

Hannah gave him an encouraging look, trying to let him know that he could talk to her about it if he wished it. She knew that some bad things had happened in his childhood, and that his mom had died when he was still a kid, but Seeley didn't like to talk about that time. Hannah knew he'd tell her when he was ready.

"That's OK, Seeley, we all think about and miss our parents once in a while. And you're now a parent yourself, who doesn't get to see his child enough…" She let her voice trail off, knowing this was a sensitive subject.

She must have said the right thing, because Booth smiled at her and said, "Thanks, babe. It really helps to know you understand."

Hannah gave him a quick kiss, then got out of bed. "Time to get up, baby. Got lots to do today." She gave him a seductive grin. "Want to join me in the shower?"

Since Booth was still processing the ideas and emotions stirred up by his eerily realistic dream involving him and Brennan, he simply grinned back and said, "Not today, Han. I'm going to lounge in bed a little longer and just imagine what we can do when we have more time later."

Since this was not an uncommon reaction to her occasional morning invitations, she shrugged and went to start her day.

After she had disappeared into the bathroom, Booth allowed himself to drop his happy-go-lucky front and ran a hand over his face, groaning inwardly. What was he going to do? Clearly, if he was having that kind of dream about Brennan, something was not going right. He had only one person he could trust to always tell him the truth and give him real advice. He grabbed his phone and dialed her number.

"Booth? Why are you calling me so early? What's wrong?" Dr. Camille Saroyan was instantly concerned about her old friend. He would not be calling her at this hour about a case.

Booth sighed. Cam knew him too well sometimes. But he knew she could help him.

"Could you meet me in my office sometime before lunch? Whenever it seems convenient to get away from the lab." He tried to keep the growing feeling of panic from showing in his voice.

Cam sighed too. There was something seriously wrong if Booth didn't want anyone at the lab—whom Cam and Booth both knew meant Dr. Brennan—to know that they were meeting. This talk was going to be very personal, and Cam would bet her designer wardrobe that it would involve the two important women in his life: his partner and his girlfriend.

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_It's about time Booth got some help-he hasn't been doing very well with his love life, has he? ;)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones, etc. though I wish I could give them ideas...**

**A/N: **I thought Cam's response to Booth would be in this section, but the muse decided to give Booth an earlier epiphany than I had originally planned. Next chapter probably up tomorrow.**  
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**Chapter 3**

As Cam waited in the elevator on her way to Booth's office, she let her mind wander over the various scenarios that might have prompted Booth's early morning phone call. Considering the time of the call, he had probably had a dream. Considering the veiled panic she thought she had heard in his voice, and knowing his history, she surmised the dream had something to do with Dr. Brennan. Maybe it involved Booth and Brennan in a "non-partners" situation? The pathologist sincerely hoped so—maybe now they could all get to the bottom of the awkwardness that had been apparent between most of the members of her team since they had all returned from different parts of the world.

Her musings were interrupted by the "ping" of the elevator as it reached the desired floor. She strode purposefully out into the corridor and made her way to Booth's office. As she arrived in the doorway, Cam immediately noticed that Booth seemed to be staring at a bare spot on his office wall, not acknowledging her presence until she cleared her throat and said, "Hey, Booth."

Years of training kept Booth from leaping out of his seat, but he admitted to himself that Cam had managed to startle him. "Hey, Cam. You came. Thanks. Have a seat?" he asked, then added, "And could you close the door?" He tried to keep his nervousness from showing in his face, but he knew that was mostly a lost cause with Cam.

Cam smiled, but only a little since she knew her friend was unhappy. "You don't need to act any particular way in front of me, big guy. Just be honest, like you usually are, and I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this." Cam noticed that Booth visually slumped a bit more in his chair, and his face took on an expression of sadness mixed with confusion and something else she couldn't identify.

"What did you tell everyone when you left the lab at 10:30 AM?" he asked, still trying to be as nonchalant and calm as possible.

Cam really grinned this time. "What makes you think I needed an excuse? I am the boss, after all." But seeing Booth's expression, she knew this was not the time for jokes. "I told them I was meeting Felicia for coffee—which I did, at around 10. Then I came here."

Cam could see the relief in Booth's eyes that she had went to an effort to conceal their meeting from the squint squad. "I'm sorry I asked you to do that, Cam, but those squints are really good at figuring out things they aren't supposed to know—especially Angela," Booth said. "And if Angela knows, then B-, er, everyone else knows 5 seconds later."

Cam relaxed as much as she could in her uncomfortable FBI-issue chair, but she wasn't about to wait for Booth to bring up the subject which had prompted this meeting. She did need to get back to the lab before anyone got too suspicious. She got right to the point.

"All right, Seeley," she said, letting him know she was serious by using his given name, "what's going on."

Booth cringed at her use of that name. "Argh," he said. "That's what she said that interrupted my dream," he blurted out, waiting for Cam to pounce on his statement. When she merely sat quietly, her hands folded in her lap, clearly waiting for him to continue, he allowed himself to relax a little bit. He knew he had done the right thing in asking for her help.

"As I just said, I had a dream last night. As you've probably guessed, the dream left me…" his voice trailed off as he searched for the right word to describe his jumbled feelings. "It left me feeling _unsettled_." He glanced at Cam, and as she merely nodded encouragingly, he continued.

"The dream was about me and Bones. And it was probably the best dream I ever remember having." There, he had said it out loud to someone else.

Cam was surprised he would admit that much, that he liked the dream. But she tried to keep her tone neutral. "I guessed it was about you two, when you asked to meet me, and especially since I wasn't supposed to let anyone know we were meeting," Cam said sympathetically.

Booth sighed, then started to give her a summary of the dream. "Bones and I were sitting on my couch, together, and, well…" He stopped talking again, part of him wishing he hadn't dreamt this at all, and part of him wishing it hadn't _been_ a dream but had been real.

Cam knew this was going to be difficult for Booth, but she felt she needed to push him to verbalize what had happened. "Booth, just spit it out. You know how much I care about you—I'm not going to judge you, nor am I going to tell anyone what you tell me in confidence. Tell me everything, then we can figure out where to go from there." Cam let a little of her exasperation show in her voice, to hopefully spur Booth into moving forward with his story.

"O.K., Cam, you're right. It's just hard—I wish I didn't have these thoughts… But wishing them away hasn't helped so far…" Now Booth seemed to almost be talking to himself. Then Cam saw him apparently rally his thoughts, and he told the rest of the story:

"Bones and I were married, sitting together on my couch, my arms around her and her pregnant stomach." Cam's eyes grew wide as his mention of the word "pregnant," but she kept silent to let him finish.

"We were both feeling so happy, so content… Then Parker came running in, talking about video games. Anyway, he asked if he was supposed to call Bones "Mom" after the baby came. So Bones told him he didn't have to, he could just call her "Bones" like he already did. As I mentioned earlier, Bones and I were married…" Booth's attention momentarily wandered back to the spot on the wall he'd been staring at earlier, and Cam knew he was thinking about the possibilities of that situation.

"And then," Booth said, wrenching himself back to reality, the emotion clearly thick in his voice, "Parker asked if he could call Bones "Mom." And she said that would be fine, if he wanted to. She was so great about it!" Booth seemed torn between despair and joy as he recalled the events for Cam. "And he said he was going to start calling her "Mom" right away, and then he did, almost casually, after Bones had invited him to come watch a movie with us. Park was so happy, he was looking at us like we were his parents, like he knew how much he mattered to us."

Booth seemed almost exhausted after this emotional outburst. Cam could see, for the first time since he had been back from Afghanistan, how conflicted he must be inside. She had had a vague idea of what she needed to say before she had even come over to his office, but now she knew where she wanted to direct their conversation.

Since Booth hadn't started talking again, Cam gently prodded, "And how did the dream end? I'm betting there's still something else you need to tell me."

Booth looked up at the ceiling, calling on divine guidance. "After Parker left to get his DVD, I closed my eyes, and then I heard a voice calling, 'Seeley.' I thought, 'that isn't Bones, she knows I don't really like that name.' Then the voice became more clear, waking me up. It was, of course, Hannah. And apparently, I had said the word "Mom" loud enough that Hannah had heard." Booth shook his head, wishing the waking up had been the dream.

"So of course she wanted to know why I was saying "Mom" in a dream. So of course I lied to her, I lied to my girlfriend," Booth said with some anger, clearly directed at himself, "and told her that I was with Parker, then I was Parker's age and with my mom…" Booth snorted. "And she believed me. She didn't push, she just said something about missing our parents and that I could tell her if I wanted to." He finally stood up, the feeling of anger at himself outgrowing the other emotions as he began to pace.

"She's such a great person! Why am I having a dream about me and Bones being married—I should be dreaming about Hannah! And why…" He stopped again, and the expression on his face told Cam he was horrified by his next thought.

"Why what, Booth. You need to let yourself be honest—otherwise I can't help you move past this," Cam said as gently as if she were talking to a child.

"Why did the dream feel so, so _right_, so _real_, so perfect? I was upset with Hannah for waking me up, I was upset with her for not being Bones!" Booth sighed again, realizing that he felt a tiny bit better after finally being honest with himself and admitting his true feelings about the dream.

"I guess I'm not as over Bones as I thought," he said, sitting back down and cradling his head in his hands.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Sorry it took so long to post this next chapter! This has been the most difficult to write so far, and the longest. I wanted to make sure I was happy with it before I posted it, and with RL lately taking most of my brain power… I hope it was worth the wait.

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**Chapter 4**

Although Cam was not at all shocked by his sentiments, she was somewhat surprised by the clear depth of his emotions for Dr. Brennan. Shaking her head, Cam realized that Booth had been trying so hard to convince everyone, including himself, that he had moved on with Hannah—he had managed to fool even Dr. Camille Saroyan, who had known Booth for over fifteen years.

Marshalling her thoughts, Cam began what she hoped would be a cathartic and fruitful talk with her long-time friend. She had long believed that Booth and Brennan belonged together, making each other happier than she had ever known either of them to be otherwise. However, she still felt it was her place as a friend to both of them to help them decide what _they_ really wanted. It was the only way they were going to last a lifetime—which was what Cam knew Booth wished for and what she was beginning to believe Brennan might desire as well.

"Booth, I'm glad you feel you can be honest with me. I think that is a very important step. I admit I was surprised at how fast you seemed to move past your feelings for Dr. Brennan. I had known for a long time that you clearly considered her more than just a partner," Cam said.

"Really?" Booth asked. "I had tried so hard to keep my feelings under wraps—I knew that if I pushed her too soon, she'd run away." As he considered the truth of this statement, Booth wondered if maybe his declarations to Bones after they had told Sweets about their true first case might have been pushing things. But Cam was already answering his unspoken question.

"Yeah, Booth, you weren't able to hide very much from me. Some, I'll admit," she smiled wryly. "But I knew shortly after I arrived in D.C. that she was more than just your friend and partner. Remember when I asked you what you would do if I fired Brennan from the Jeffersonian?" Cam asked, chuckling inwardly at the memory of the ferocity of his response.

"_Booth, if Dr. Brennan were to quit…" Cam began._

"_What?" Booth asked. Bones wasn't a quitter._

_Cam started again, "If she were to leave the Jeffersonian..."_

_Booth chuckled. "Well, the squints would flee this institution like the French army."_

_Angela had already said as much to Cam earlier, and Angela had included Booth in this exodus. But Cam wanted to ask him herself. "And you?_

_Booth smiled sardonically. "Well, I do as I'm ordered." He gave Cam a mock salute._

_Cam scoffed, knowing Booth did whatever he thought was best. "No, you don't, Seeley."_

_Booth straightened up, sensing there was more to this than idle speculation. "Okay, here we go. What's going on, Camille?"_

_Cam paused, considering her words carefully, and she decided to be blunt. "What if I fired her? What would you do?" She waited for his response._

_Booth turned to face Cam, and looked her straight in the eyes with an intensity Cam had seldom seen before. "I'm with Bones, Cam. All the way. Don't doubt it for a second."_

_Booth and Cam exchanged looks, and Cam had her answer._

Booth thought back to that conversation in the autopsy room. The thought of Cam making Bones leave had caused his emotions to slip their leash a bit. "You're totally right, Cam. I didn't allow myself to think much about it at the time, but the idea of Bones being gone from my life…" He trailed off. "She'd already become so important to me, even then." He stopped, trying to read Cam's thoughts from the expression on her face.

"Are you trying to tell me that I made a mistake in trying to move on, that I should dump Hannah and just HOPE Bones will someday be ready to give me a chance?" His emotions were sliding back towards exasperation and then anger again. "Do you have any idea how much that hurt, when she rejected me?"

Booth's emotions were now clear on his face—their long chat had long since exhausted his ability to hide them, especially from an old friend like Cam. She saw now that his heart had almost broken that fateful night, and it was all he had been able to do to keep things together thus far. He looked like a lost little boy, his expression similar to what she had imagined he must have felt after being betrayed and abused by his father in his youth.

Cam now got up from her chair and moved around Booth's desk, laying her hand on his shoulder. Booth roused himself from his feelings of despair and hopelessness at her gentle touch. He looked into her eyes and saw sympathy—and something else. He saw the shadow of remembered pain in her eyes, and Booth had a feeling he knew where Cam was going to take this conversation.

"You do understand, don't you, Cam?" Booth asked, his voice gentler than it had been earlier in the throes of his own pain. "You had someone you loved who broke your heart."

Cam nodded, allowing Booth to see the emotions that still swirled inside her at the remembrance of her greatest love, whose murder their team had solved a few years ago. Her voice took on a mix of nostalgia, sadness, and resignation as she spoke softly.

"When I was with Andrew, I thought that my world was complete. I was a doctor, in love with another doctor, living with him and his daughter. You know how much I loved Michelle, even then—I considered her to be my daughter in way that mattered. And then Andrew and I got engaged, and I started to imagine the rest of my life with him and Michelle, and hopefully more of our children…" It was Cam's turn to allow her thoughts to trail off into unvoiced contemplation.

"But I knew something wasn't right. I should have been more aware of what was going on, but I was a busy intern at the hospital, and he was busy, too, and with taking care of a young child… I just allowed myself to be fooled into thinking my life was perfect." Cam shook her head, still troubled by the memories.

"But Andrew would not stay away from other women. I told him I knew about it, I even caught him at the motel he had once taken me to, and he always said it was going to be the last time. He told me loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He might have believed that, at least on some level. And I hated the idea of leaving Michelle, of leaving the relationship Andrew and I had spent years building." Cam sighed, thinking about the correlations between her past relationship and Booth's present dilemma.

"But I realized that I was not willing to settle for what Andrew could give me. I would not accept anything less than faithful monogamy from him. I knew that I owed it to myself to find someone who could love me completely, and who I could trust utterly to love me and not lie to me." Booth reached over and wiped a tear from Cam's cheek, momentarily interrupting her. She looked at him in surprise—she hadn't even realized she had started crying.

"And it still obviously makes me sad, the end of that relationship. But it needed to end—it wasn't healthy," Cam said, now feeling a bit better having reached this part of the story. "I know I did the right thing, ending things with Andrew. But that still didn't make it easy. I moved out of the house, I changed jobs, I didn't see him or Michelle anymore. But I still thought about him, and I occasionally had dreams about him." Cam looked directly at Booth again, and she could see him connecting the dots in his head, seeing how her story related to his situation.

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**A/N:** The conversation continues in the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Here's the next chapter, which still doesn't conclude Booth's conversation with Cam. But Booth has another important epiphany…

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**Chapter 5**

"Booth," Cam said, putting a hand on his cheek, turning his head to face her, "it is OK to mourn the loss of a relationship that didn't work. It takes time, even when, in my case, the relationship had become unhealthy." She paused, debating whether she wanted to add any of her own opinion about him and Brennan. Cam decided to be as neutral as possible at this point.

"I don't think you gave yourself enough time to mourn the loss of your relationship with Dr. Brennan. Even if you two were not officially "together," you had felt, for _years_, that your relationship would eventually end up with the two of you together, hopefully married." Cam glanced at Booth, and saw in his face the acknowledgement of the truth of her statements. "When you decided to move on, I think you tried to cover up the hurt and pain with a new relationship. And, you were thrown into a drastically different situation than you had been in previously, separated not only from Dr. Brennan but from your friends and the normal atmosphere of your regular life. Your emotions and thoughts in Afghanistan probably felt a little surreal." Booth nodded, agreeing with what Cam was saying.

"I won't pretend to know or understand what you went through over there. I'm sure having someone to care about you, and to let you take care of her, was a great thing. I even think I like Hannah—she seems like a good person, what I know of her so far." Booth smiled a little at this—he was glad someone appeared to have taken to Hannah. He was a little surprised by the vehemence of her next statement, though.

"But I also know that you're not being fair to yourself, Dr. Brennan, OR Hannah with what has been going on since you've gotten back. You've been acting all "happy-go-lucky," like you coming back after only seven months with a serious girlfriend is completely normal. And shortly after that you ask her to move in with you?" Cam couldn't keep the incredulity out of her voice regarding that unexpected turn of events. Booth opened his mouth to say something here, but Cam stopped him with a raised hand.

"I'll admit it takes different people different amounts of time to get over things, but it was over a year after I'd broken up with Andrew that I felt I could even _consider _dating someone seriously. And that was when I had been the one to sever the relationship, and when I fervently wanted and needed to move on and get past it." Booth seemed to be thinking about what Cam had said—he no longer looked like he wanted to jump in and defend himself.

Cam remembered something she had wanted to tell him but hadn't managed to earlier. "And to go back and answer one of your questions to me, I'm not saying that I think you should just 'dump Hannah and hope Brennan will someday give you a chance." She stopped at the look of surprise on his face—Booth thought that Cam was telling him that, at least indirectly.

"Booth," she said, trying to be gentle but not really succeeding, "I would never try to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. Only you can decide what you're feeling and what are the right choices for your life. However, I do feel it is my job as your friend to make you consider things you've been trying to ignore." Booth gave Cam a somewhat wounded look at that statement, but then he reluctantly nodded towards her, giving his permission for her to continue saying what he suspected would be difficult to hear.

Cam took a deep breath, and asked what she had been wondering since Booth and Brennan had both returned from Asia. "Can you honestly tell me that you don't still want to be with Dr. Brennan? Isn't at least part of you still in love with her?" Cam tried not to sound demanding, but she wanted Booth to face reality—which, in her opinion, he had been studiously avoiding up until today.

Booth slumped down even further into his office chair, covering his face with his hands again. When he looked up at Cam's expression, he didn't see judgment or condemnation—all he saw was warmth and friendship.

"You're right, Cam. My subconscious is clearly more honest than the rest of me. That dream makes it painfully obvious that…" He paused, considering what his conclusion really was.

"I am still in love with Dr. Brennan. I love her, and I want to be with her, and no amount of wishful thinking or new girlfriends is going to change that." Booth felt oddly relieved after making that statement, as if he was finally being completely honest with himself.

Cam allowed herself to smile again—she had managed to get Booth to be open about his feelings. As she had suspected, he did still want to be with Dr. Brennan. Cam's observations of the anthropologist over the last few months, since her return from Maluku, had led Cam to believe what she had thought before—Dr. Brennan was in love with Booth, even if she might not have been ready to admit it. Maybe she still wasn't ready—but Cam felt it was time to tell Booth her suspicions, and maybe give him a little encouragement in the area of winning the sometimes prickly doctor over.

Cam's smile faded as she took in Booth's growing expression of pain and heartache. "Booth, what is it? What are you thinking now that's making you so upset?"

Booth tried to school his features to reduce the amount of misery he was showing her, but he knew he'd only be partially successful. He allowed himself to speak out loud the phrase that was at the core of his despair:

"She doesn't want me."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** _At long last, here's the next part. Again, this segment was so long that I split it into two chapters. But since they're both done, they're both getting posted tonight._

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Chapter 6

"_She doesn't want me."_

Booth's anguished statement hung in the air, its impact momentarily blocking out all sounds including the white noise of the FBI bullpen humming just outside Booth's office door.

Cam felt her own heart twist in sympathetic pain—she had never heard her usually happy-go-lucky friend sound like this before. However, Cam was 99% certain that Booth was wrong. Given that it was Dr. Brennan they were talking about, there was always a chance of an unexpected outcome, but Cam had spent enough time over the past four and half years watching the two of them to believe that they still had a future together.

Cam reached around Booth and gave him a quick one-armed hug, not lingering too long since she knew they were still visible to the agents out in the common office area. He looked towards her, acknowledging the sentiment, then starting staring into his lap again.

Cam moved a little away from Booth and sat on the edge of his desk. "Okay, Booth. I think it's past time that you told me what conversations you've had with Dr. Brennan that made you think that she isn't interested in you." She paused, and then decided to add, "Because I think you're wrong."

As Cam's statements began to penetrate his pain-fogged brain, Booth started to feel a tiny bit better. _Cam thought Brennan might be interested? But that doesn't make sense…_ He tried to focus on what else she had just said.

"Conversations with Bones?" he asked with some confusion evident in his voice.

"Yes, Booth. You seem very certain that she doesn't want you." Cam couldn't help but notice Booth's wince of pain at her reiteration of his previous statement. "So, knowing her and knowing that she tends to be rather blunt, I'm guessing that she told you this specifically?"

Booth considered Cam's question. "Well, she didn't say it quite like that—Bones has learned how to be less 'blunt' as you put it, though she does say some crazy things sometimes." He had to smile a little at that, remembering many uncomfortable times in Brennan's presence. But then his expression became grave again. "Basically, after we had had a meeting with Sweets about his book, I asked her to give 'us' a chance, her and me together as a couple, and she said no. I don't know what more there is to talk about." He glanced at Cam to see her reaction, and he was surprised that his friend had a small smile of her own.

"What," Booth asked, confused by Cam's expression. "You think this is amusing?" Booth tried to project anger, but hurt was the dominant emotion that Cam sensed.

"She just said 'no,' just like that. No explanation, no reasoning? That doesn't sound like Dr. Brennan." Cam was beginning to realize that Booth probably misinterpreted whatever reasons—probably excuses—that Brennan had actually given him, which gave her some hope that she could help the couple move past this.

Booth shot Cam a sheepish look. "Well, of course she had reasons, but they weren't good ones. She said no, isn't that the important part?" He was hoping Cam had another explanation, but Booth didn't feel very confident.

Cam pondered her next question, deciding to get straight to the point. "I'm going to assume you told her that you love her." Instead of meeting her gaze, Booth looked away, seeming to focus on his desk. "Okay, then I'm guessing she told you that she didn't love you?" Now Booth did look Cam in the eyes, an expression of understanding beginning to show in his face.

"No, well, we didn't exactly get to that part, it wasn't like I had scripted the conversation ahead of time or anything," Booth said, running over his words as his mind started to process Cam's questions.

Cam shook her head in wonder. "If she had told you straight out that she didn't love you, then I would be concerned. Brennan prides herself in being truthful. But if she just gave you a bunch of excuses…" Cam trailed off, hoping Booth would jump in. He just kept staring at Cam, the wheels clearly turning in his head.

"Tell me exactly what she said, as well as you remember. Then, together, we can interpret her words—let's call it her 'Brennan-speak'—to get down to what she was really feeling. We can both agree she almost never betrays her true feelings, right?" Cam looked at Booth, and he nodded, seeing where she was heading.

"What was her first response, when you said you wanted to try being romantically involved," Cam asked, knowing Brennan's initial reaction would be crucial to an understanding of her state of mind.

Booth sighed. Maybe he should have tried this tactic earlier, but the screaming sound of his broken heart had been interfering with his higher mental functions.

"She asked if we would still be able to work together," he said with resignation. "Her first thought was of our work."

Cam gave Booth a pointed look. "And you do know why that is, don't you?" Booth just looked at Cam dejectedly. "With everything she's been through, her work has been the one thing she could count on. And as I've watched her spend more time working with you, it's clear that she considers her partnership with you as one of the most precious things to her."

Booth considered Cam's words. "Well, she has told me more than once how important it is, just as I've told her how important it is to me."

"And how do you think she would react if the FBI broke up your partnership? What do you think she would do?" Cam asked, hoping he would see where she was going with this.

"She would, I mean…" Booth trailed off, deep in thought. Then he looked up at Cam, realization dawning on his face. "My first guess? She'd run off to a dig in Africa, or somewhere else far away."

Cam nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. Well, I would guess Siberia—that's pretty far." They shared a slight smile at Cam's attempt at humor at a time like this.

"Bones has had so few constants in her life, so the idea of having one of them taken away…" Booth began.

"Namely **you**," Cam interrupted.

"That would freak her out a bit," Booth admitted. "I guess I was hoping that she would think about what we could be together." Booth's expression returned to its previously morose state.

"I'm sure she did think about it," Cam replied. "We know how fast her mind works. What else did she say, after bringing up the problem with the FBI?" Cam looked at Booth, hoping he would be able to remember.

* * *

**A/N:** _My bet is that even if Booth didn't go over this conversation repeatedly in his mind, I'm sure the content was burned into his brain—I know that happens to me with things I don't always want to remember._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** _Here's the rest of this section. I'm pretty happy with how Cam marshaled her arguments…_

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Chapter 7

"She told me that since she's a scientist, she can't change, she doesn't know how," Booth said in an almost mocking tone. He knew that Brennan didn't try to be insensitive, but her words came out that way sometimes.

"Well," Cam began, "not only is that unscientific, it is also incorrect." She felt somewhat heartened by the mixture of confusion and hope in Booth's eyes.

"What do you mean, she's wrong?" Booth asked. Bones was almost never wrong—and certainly didn't like to admit it if she was.

Cam smiled. "How much has she changed since she met you? Or, how much has she changed since she met me? A few months after I'd started at the Jeffersonian, I had seriously considered firing her." Cam shook her head at the memory. "And now, I consider her a good friend and a great colleague. We work very well together, and there was a time when she had trouble working with—or especially underneath—anyone."

Booth could see where Cam was leading him—they were dismantling Bones' excuses. He thought back to that fateful conversation, and remembered something else she had said.

"Bones also said she doesn't have an 'open heart,' that she's not like me," he said, still not sure exactly what Brennan had meant by that. "I guess she meant that she doesn't feel things the way others do? I don't know." Booth threw up his hands in defeat.

"Booth, you and I both know that Brennan has feelings like everyone else. And those feelings have been hurt so many times, by people she thought she could trust, that she tries to hide them away." Cam reached out her hand to touch Booth on the arm again, bringing his attention back to her.

"She claims that her heart is not 'open?' You and I both know that isn't true. I'm sure you have witnessed many instances of her heart yourself—just in watching how dedicated she is to finding justice for the victims, how seriously she takes her work in Limbo—those people have often been dead for years, but she still wants their voices to be heard." Cam paused, then added, "Plus, I have a personal story about me and Brennan, that I have not shared with you."

Booth looked at Cam in surprise and nodded towards her to continue.

"It is because of Dr. Brennan's 'open heart' that I have Michelle as my foster daughter. It was Brennan's idea that I offer to take her in. I had come back to the lab after another disastrous meeting with Michelle. I was sitting in the lounge, staring at my half of an old salt-and-pepper set."

"What?" Booth asked, confused.

"When I left Michelle, I gave her half of my Grandma's salt-and-pepper set, keeping the other half for myself. I told her that when she looked at that little china bear, and thought of me, she would know I was thinking about her, too." Cam smiled, thinking about how well that little gift eventually helped her and Michelle.

"So I was sitting there, thinking about how much I loved Michelle and wishing there was something I could do for her. Brennan noticed me, and she came over and asked me about the figurine. After I told her the story, she commented that Michelle was now all alone, maybe I could take her in. She then told me one of her anthropological anecdotes: some Indian tribe, I don't remember which one, had a story, that when a person pulled a child from the rapids, that person would be part of that child's life forever. She then opined that she doubted that story was only strictly applicable to drowning victims." Booth had to smile himself—that did sound like one of Bones' stories.

"See, Seeley? The Dr. Brennan I met 4 years ago would never have noticed that I was upset, let alone told me that very appropriate story and suggested I take in an orphaned teenager. I'm sure her background of being an orphan and in foster care had something to do with her coming up with the idea—but she allowed me into her life enough to share those thoughts with me. That demonstrates both her ability to change and her well-opened heart." Cam paused again, watching as Booth took in her words.

"When she said she couldn't change, did you offer to help her?" Cam asked, even though she thought she knew the answer.

"No," Booth said, sighing in resignation.

"I bet you also didn't think to tell her that you didn't want her to 'change' and that you loved her just the way she is?" Cam asked.

"No, of course I didn't, I told you, I wasn't thinking straight after she shot me down!" Booth was nearly yelling at Cam, but when he looked at her he saw that she wasn't upset with him.

Cam sat in silence a minute, wondering if there was anything else useful in this conversation Booth and Brennan had had.

Booth then volunteered something himself. "I asked her to give me a chance, telling her that I had known from the beginning that I wanted to spend the next 30, 40, or 50 years with her…" He started thinking about what Brennan's initial reaction would be to that statement. He glanced at Cam, who was now shaking her head back and forth.

"You actually said that to her, you basically told her you wanted a long-term relationship, alluding to being married…" Cam paused, then continued, "And you didn't expect her to run as far away as possible?" Cam tried, but couldn't keep some incredulity out of her voice. "Metaphorically OR physically speaking, each would apply to Dr. Brennan."

Booth sighed. "You're right, Cam, of course you are." He finally stood up, feeling the need to pace as his thoughts started moving around his head at faster speeds.

"And I thought of something else she said, maybe you could help me with what she meant?" Booth asked, turning towards Cam mid-pace.

"Of course, Booth, that's why I'm here. Dr. Brennan is quite a conundrum," Cam said, pleased that Booth looked less sad and almost purposeful.

"I didn't think much of this at the time, but now…She said that I needed protecting! Me, needed protecting—from her." He stopped pacing, clearly still baffled by this statement. "Why would she say that?"

Cam thought for a moment. She had a hunch, but she wanted to be sure. "Where did this take place in the conversation? What had just been said…or had happened?" she asked, hoping this would help.

Booth looked almost shy, and Cam thought that this was a good sign for her hypothesis. "I had told her that the FBI thing was just an excuse, and then…" He stopped, leaving Cam in suspense.

"Well?" Cam pushed. "What?"

"I kissed her. I tried to show her what she meant to me, what I wanted, and then she pushed me away! She actually physically pushed me away!" Booth's emotions had switched back to frustration and sadness again.

"She was protecting you from the danger of being involved with her," Cam said, glad that they had finally reached this point.

"Danger of being with Bones? I don't understand," Booth said, almost whining in frustration now.

"Brennan has never had a romantic relationship work out, right?" Cam glanced at Booth, and he silently agreed. "We have already agreed that she considers her relationship with you to be very important." Another nod from Booth. "And then you ask her to jeopardize her partnership with you for a long-term meaningful relationship that, in her experience, will be impossible to maintain and can only end badly?" Cam glanced at Booth again, and saw the proverbial light bulb going off in his head. "She was afraid of hurting you in a romantic relationship, so she pushed you away instead, trying to protect you from what she considered a greater potential hurt."

Cam walked over to Booth, placing one hand on each arm, getting his full attention. "And do you know what this all says to me?" Booth looked down at Cam with more hope than she had seen for a long time.

"I think she is in love with you."

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**A/N:** _At last! Some hope for Booth. I can't believe how long this conversation has been going, but the fingers type what the mind—the muse—decides. I think the next chapter will close this conversation with Cam and get us moving on to the really good stuff! _


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** _I know it's been a while since I've updated this, but sometimes RL happens (I work in retail, and it's only a few days before Christmas). Actually reading other people's angsty fics helped spur me to add more to this one, which is nearing the end of unhappiness and approaching B&B togetherness!_

_FYI: This is a really long chapter, which will FINALLY finish Booth and Cam's conversation._

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_Chapter 8

"You think she's in love with me?" Booth asked, a mixture of hope, confusion, and elation evident in tone. "Really?" He allowed himself to smile more sincerely than he had since he'd awoken that morning.

Cam had to restrain a chuckle at Booth's reaction, which was one of almost child-like wonderment, as most of the negative emotions had finally left his face.

"Yes, Booth, I think she loves you, very much, although I don't know if she's even admitted it to herself yet. We both know she has some unconventional views on the entire subject." Booth and Cam exchanged exasperated smiles at this thought.

Booth pondered what Cam had said. She sounded pretty certain, and Booth knew Cam wouldn't sugar-coat things, or say things to him just because she thought it was what he wanted to hear.

"I'm guessing you have some…evidence in mind that has given you this opinion about Bones?" he asked, the hope which he had so dutifully tried to squash continuing to grow inside his heart.

Cam smiled again, glad that Booth seemed to be believing her, and glad that he was continuing to think like the cop that he was—looking for evidence about Brennan's feelings, instead of only taking his partner's words at face value.

"The best examples I can think of are the two times you were kidnapped. The first time, when that mobster and his associate had you, during the Icepick case?" Cam looked at Booth, confirming that he remembered which case she was talking about.

"Yeah, I remember. The one-legged cabbie from Baltimore who rolled me up in a carpet," Booth said, thinking back to that strange investigation.

"Well, that case was before Brennan had reconciled with her father—she was still really mad at him, and he was still a fugitive from justice," Cam continued. Booth nodded; he remembered.

"I guess you didn't connect the dots back then, but think about this: when she knew you were in danger, she reached out to her father for help in finding you. He was probably the last person she wanted to spend time with, let alone trust, but she allowed him to help her because she was so desperate to save you. And I firmly believe it was because of Max's help and insights that we were able to determine what had happened so that she was able to get to you in time." Cam had been very worried about her friend during those hours he was missing, but her mental state had been calm in comparison to Brennan's.

Booth sat back in his chair, considering the impact of Cam's observation. "She did let him escape in her car after they found me. She was pretty grateful for his help."

"He had just helped her find one of the most important people in her world," Cam said, glad that Booth seemed to be catching on to her thoughts.

"But I think what is really telling is her behavior during your kidnapping by the Gravedigger," Cam said, wincing inwardly at Booth's twitch at the mention of that twisted criminal's moniker.

"As soon as we found out what the ransom was, the evidence which had been stolen from the FBI, she was singularly focused on making the exchange that would get your location. A federal judge had ordered that the evidence be returned to the FBI and ADA Taffett. Evidence that Brennan knew could possibly help uncover the Gravedigger's identity. But Brennan didn't seem concerned about solving her own kidnapping, and she certainly didn't seem to care that she was breaking the law turning the evidence over to the Gravedigger. All she wanted to do was find you—even if it meant doing something illegal." Cam watched Booth's face as another light bulb went off in his head.

"Bones is usually quite the stickler for the rules," Booth said, thinking that this was one of the many things he loved about her. "She has often talked about how important it is to her that we bring criminals to justice, and how much it hurts when we lack the needed evidence to convict."

"Exactly. And she did break the law to try and save you, in an attempt that she knew could still fail. And then she convinced your brother to break the law AND risk his job when she needed more help." Cam had only seen Jared's demeanor as determined when he had brought them the body to examine, but having known Jared as long as she'd known Booth, she figured Brennan had needed to do some arm-twisting to get Jared to risk his military career. However, Cam knew that Jared did not regret what he had done that led to his dishonorable discharge, since his actions had saved his brother's life.

Booth seemed content to sit in his chair, pondering what Cam had said, not offering much conversation in response. But Cam knew that Booth was carefully considering his recollections of Brennan's past actions regarding him.

"And then there's Brennan's reaction to Hannah," Cam said, bringing Booth's full attention back to her again.

"But Bones has been nothing but supportive about my relationship with Hannah. She says she's happy for me," Booth said, still somewhat confused by this. If Bones had just acted jealous like a normal woman, then Booth could have understood the situation better.

"Booth, I know what she's been saying and how she's been acting towards Hannah. She considers herself your friend and partner, and she sees that Hannah makes you happy—so she's going to support that." Cam paused, trying to decide how to proceed. "However, there are some other actions—and inactions—of hers that I don't think you're aware of," Cam said, trying not to sound accusatory, but she did feel that Booth hadn't been treating Brennan as well as he should.

Booth looked at Cam with a somewhat guilty expression. "Girlfriend or not, I haven't exactly been a great friend to her lately, have I?" he asked, although he didn't expect her to respond.

Cam nodded, glad he was acknowledging his noticeable change in behavior towards Brennan since returning from the war zone. "She's been spending more and more time in Limbo since she got back. Her case completion rate has almost tripled over what it was last year."

Booth knew where Cam was going with this. "So she's been working at the lab much more than she had been, even though our load of FBI cases hasn't changed." Booth sighed. "She didn't have me to make her stop working and grab some lunch or dinner at the diner." Booth hadn't been singling Brennan out for attention for two reasons: because he was trying so hard to make things work with Hannah, and because it was still painful to spend time with Brennan alone, doing what they had always done, believing that she didn't want anything more from him.

Cam nodded again, agreeing with Booth's assessment. "Angela tried, and so did I, but she just got this determined look in her eyes and told us that she was busy working and would eat—or go home—whenever she was ready. She was clearly trying to hide her emotions from us, but I don't think she's as good at that as she used to be. It's been obvious to us at the lab that she's been unhappy about something ever since she came back." Cam felt sorry that she needed to tell Booth this, seeing the concern and sadness on his face, but she knew that he needed to hear the truth about how Brennan was reacting to his recent treatment of her.

"And although she has thrown herself into her work, the one area of her life she has been ignoring is her social calendar," Cam said, and this was what Cam found most worrisome and most telling about Brennan's feelings towards Booth. "Well, she still does some things with Angela and occasionally joins us for drinks," Cam admitted, before moving on to her main point. Looking straight into Booth's eyes, she said, "However, she has not done any dating since she returned from Maluku. And you and I both know that she has had opportunities."

Booth's expression hardened as he thought of whom Cam was alluding to. "Hacker," was all Booth said, but his antipathy to the idea of Brennan dating his boss was apparent.

Cam smiled to herself at Booth's display of jealousy, since it confirmed his strong feelings for Dr. Brennan. "Whenever we ask her about going out with someone, or Angela tries to get her to go out on a blind date, Brennan just tells us that she has work to do and has neither the time nor the desire for a social life."

Booth could hear her saying that. He could hear her using her 'clinical' voice, as if her personal life was perhaps less important to her than her lab work. That idea made him sad, and he knew that he had been a strong contributor to this shift in her attitude.

"Bones could never understand why I didn't want to discuss dating and sexual topics with her. And I didn't have the guts to tell her it was because it hurt me to hear her talk about being with other guys when I wanted her for myself." Booth looked rueful. "Maybe if I had been more honest…" He trailed off, wondering if there was something he could have done differently.

Cam approached Booth's chair and put her hand on his shoulder again. "Booth, we don't know if she was ready to hear that any earlier than she did—probably not considering her reaction when you did finally say something." Booth shook his head again, regretting so much of what had happened in the last year.

But Cam brought him back to the present again, saying gently: "However, you have both been holding back your honest thoughts and feelings from each other, for a long time, and that needs to stop for either of you to be happy." She looked into his eyes again, trying to convey her support for her friend, no matter what he wanted to do.

Booth could sense her encouragement, and thanked God that he had such a great friend in Cam. He was pretty sure of what he wanted to do next, but he wanted to get Cam's opinion. "After all this, even though I think I know what you'll say…" He paused, making sure he still had her attention. "What do you think I should do?"

Cam smiled at him, squeezing him lightly on the shoulder she was still holding. "Do what your heart tells you. Listen to that 'lion-heart.' Whenever you've followed it in the past, really listened to what it said no matter what your mind might be thinking—that's when you've made the best decisions." Cam had decided not to tell him to go after Brennan, even though that's what her heart was shouting for him to do. This was about Booth's life and happiness, and if he felt guilty about leaving Hannah because Cam pushed him into it, then he and Brennan wouldn't last.

Booth looked down at the clasped hands in his lap for just a moment, before looking back up at Cam with an expression of resolve—and determination. "I know what I need to do."

Cam looked back at him, hoping he wouldn't make her beg to be told his decision.

"I need to talk to Hannah, and then I need to see if I can get my girl back. Nothing has felt right since Bones and I have been estranged." Booth admitted, talking to both Cam and to himself. "Although Hannah has made me happy, and she helped me survive my broken heart, somewhere deep down I knew that the only true cure for that problem was Temperance Brennan."

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_**A/N:**__ So Booth has finally seen the light! Next chapter will be up today also. Review if you like—I've tried to analyze B&B's thoughts and actions in a 'logical' fashion—let me know if you think I've been successful._


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N:**__ This is very short, at least compared to most of my other chapters. This is a bit of a "filler," setting up Booth's next conversation: with Hannah. _

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_Chapter 9

Booth stood up, beginning to put things in order on his desk so that he could leave and find Hannah. Cam got up, too, and headed for the door. Booth stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm.

"Gordon Gordon once told me that my relationship with Bones needed hope and patience," he said, smiling slightly at the thought of the psychologist-turned-chef. "If only I had heeded his advice then..." Booth shook his head as if to clear away the negative thoughts of the past. "Thank you, Cam, for restoring my hope. Now I need to practice some patience and pray that Bones can forgive me for everything I've put us both through," Booth said fervently, knowing that this could still be an uphill battle.

Cam smiled, feeling significantly better about her friends' chances for happiness than she had since Booth had returned to D.C. with a stranger. "No problem, big guy. Remember, I'm always here if you need to talk." Cam was almost at the door, then turned for one last piece of advice: "And next time Brennan gives you some lame excuses about something important, run them by me before you do anything rash." Both she and Booth were able to laugh a little bit at this almost-joke.

Booth watched the pathologist walk out of his office and over to the elevator. It was almost lunchtime, which seemed a perfect opportunity for him to meet Hannah and tell her that their relationship was over. He picked up his phone and dialed her number.

"Hey, Seeley! I was just thinking about calling you to invite you to join me for lunch at the diner," Hannah said happily, blissfully unaware that his plans for this lunch were not going to agree with hers.

Booth paused. He had briefly thought about suggesting the diner, but he really wanted to have this conversation with his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend in private. "I'm pretty busy with work here—could you swing by and grab something for us, so we can eat here in my office? If you wouldn't mind?" He was trying to keep his voice as normal and level as possible, but he knew some of his swirling emotions had found their way into his tone when Hannah didn't answer right away.

"Hannah?" he asked, afraid that she already knew something was wrong and would try to get out of lunch-and then things would be prolonged even more.

"Um, sure Seeley, if that's what you would prefer. I had thought we could maybe invite Temperance, and perhaps Cam to join us, but eating in your office is better than not meeting at all. I'll see you there in about 30 minutes." Her tone betrayed her curiosity as well as a touch of apprehension. She was a successful reporter and could tell when someone was hiding something.

"Great. Thanks Hannah. I'll see you soon," Booth said, trying not to sound too relieved that she had agreed to his request.

"Okay. Love you," she said, using their usual phone sign off.

Booth swallowed, then replied, "You too," avoiding his usual "Love you too." He knew that phrase was no longer appropriate because he had finally realized it wasn't really true. At least it wasn't true in the way it should be between two people who were living together in a committed relationship.

Bones was the only woman he loved in all the ways that truly mattered, and Booth planned on telling her that as soon as possible.

* * *

After getting off the phone with her boyfriend, Hannah was troubled. She had been with him long enough now to know that he sometimes betrayed his emotions in his voice, especially if he was feeling particularly strongly about something. He sounded uncomfortable about something, and she had a feeling that he turned down her request to meet at the diner in favor of having her over to his office because he wanted to talk about something serious. Something he didn't want to discuss in public. And the diner, in addition to being a public place, was also where his squints often had lunch. Was he worried about one or more of them crashing their lunch date?

Before she returned her thoughts to the article she was revising, she remembered his strange reaction to his dream this morning. Maybe he had decided to tell her what had really happened. She wasn't naïve enough to think he had been completely truthful with her this morning. Hannah had had some dreams that she didn't feel like sharing with other people, even her significant other, but there was something about the way Booth acted after waking up that made her nervous. He had tried to be cheerful and joke with her about having personal time later, but some instinct told Hannah that romping in bed with her was the last thing on Booth's mind.

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_**A/N:**__ Ha! Take that blonde interloper! Soon she will be gone, and Booth can get back to what he should have been spending his time on—convincing Bones that the two of them belong together._


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** _At last, here it is, the beginning of the end for Booth's other woman! Most of their conversation is in this chapter (the good stuff anyway). I still need to decide exactly how I'm going to leave things. This took me longer to write than I thought—I certainly knew the basics of what I wanted to say, but I wanted to say it well, and as you other writers know that is not always easy._

_So enjoy!_

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_Chapter 10

Booth was not looking forward to this conversation. He was looking forward to what he could do _after_ the conversation, since then he would be free to convince Bones that they could be a couple and be happy. However, Hannah was a good person who had really helped him through a difficult time in his life, and he was grateful to her for that. He hated the idea that he would hurt her, hurt someone that he loved. Unfortunately for Hannah, though, he was not madly, hopelessly, eternally in love with her—those emotions were reserved for a certain anthropologist. And just as Booth believed that he and Brennan were destined to be together, he believed that there was someone out there for Hannah—someone who could love her the way she deserved, who could give her his whole heart. Booth's heart had already been given to Bones years ago, and he only wished he had acknowledged that truth to himself earlier. He knew now that in trying to keep protecting his still-healing heart, he was consigning himself to causing more pain for himself and for Hannah.

Booth's musings were interrupted by the object of his thoughts knocking on the open door to his office.

"Hi Seeley!" Hannah said, approaching his desk. "I got you a burger and fries."

"Thanks, Hannah. I know my tastes are kind of predictable," Booth said, smiling, standing up from his chair and taking the bag from her.

Hannah smiled back, but she noticed that Booth's smile was not as broad as it usually was, and there was something in his eyes, a seriousness that belied the jocular nature of his comment. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but he had already dug into his lunch. She decided to eat her sandwich first and ask him questions afterward. In her experience, most people, especially men, were more cooperative on a full stomach.

In between bites, Booth asked Hannah questions about her day so far and the story she was working on. She responded in kind, asking how his cases were going. Both of them deliberately kept the conversation light, which was the tone of most of their conversations anyway.

Once Booth had finished his burger and was picking at his fries, Hannah decided it was time to ask him what was on his mind that had caused the almost somber look in his eyes.

"Seeley," Hannah began, trying to keep her tone neutral as if she was talking to a potential source instead of her boyfriend, "I wanted to ask you something." He looked up at her, feeling somewhat relieved that she had picked up on his non-verbal cues and realized that he wanted to talk to her about something important.

"I figured that you'd see through my excuse about having work to do keeping me in my office," Booth said, smiling wryly. "You are a talented investigative reporter." Hannah smiled at his compliment. "There is something that I want to talk to you about, and I didn't want to have the conversation in public."

Although Hannah was glad that her instincts had been correct, she still had a bad feeling about the destination of this conversation. "And you didn't want to wait until we got home tonight?"

Booth sighed. "We don't seem to have much success with serious conversations at home, do we?" They shared a small smile, remembering that they usually found more enjoyable things to do at home than talk. Booth had finally recognized that he had been purposely avoiding doing anything or talking about anything that was overly serious when he was with Hannah.

Hannah looked at her boyfriend's pensive expression, and finally asked the question that was foremost in her mind.

"Are you going to tell me about that dream you had this morning?" she asked. She was not sure if she really wanted to hear the answer, but Hannah was compelled to ask anyway.

"Yes, I am," Booth said, and he noticed the odd mixture of surprise, relief, and apprehension which appeared and disappeared on his girlfriend's face.

Booth took a deep breath, then started with the question he had decided would help him frame their discussion: "Have you heard the phrase, 'A dream is a wish your heart makes'?"

Hannah merely nodded, but his use of this phrase coupled with his serious expression told her reporter's instincts that this conversation was not going to end up in a positive place for her.

"I don't know much about the psychology of dreams, but I have had enough personal experience to realize that, at least for me, bad dreams project my fears and good dreams usually involve things that I hope or wish for," Booth said.

"The dream I had last night was a good dream, one of the best I ever remember having," he said, failing to keep the smile from his face as he allowed himself to remember some of the thoughts and emotions stirred up by the dream. Booth then decided to lay out the events of the dream as succinctly as he could. "In the dream, I was married, and my wife and I were expecting our first child together. Parker came into the room and asked my wife if he could call her 'Mom', since the baby, his sister, would call her 'Mom' also. I was so happy with everything already, and then my son wanted to call my wife 'Mom,' too," Booth trailed off, knowing that Hannah would connect the dots with what she heard after she had rousted him.

Hannah sighed. "That's why you said 'Mom' like that—both because of Parker and his stepmom and because of you helping your wife to become a mom." If this was Booth's idea of a happy dream, as much as Hannah hated to admit it, it was probably better that the dream had not been about her. He had not explicitly stated that the woman in the dream wasn't her, but he probably would have used her name instead of the unspecific term "wife."

"Yeah," Booth said hesitantly. "And Hannah…" he began, but Hannah jumped in and cut him off.

"And the wife was not me, was it?" she said, resignation evident in her tone.

"No, Hannah, I'm sorry, but it wasn't," Booth said ruefully. "I know it should have been, I mean, you're my girlfriend…" Again, Hannah interrupted him before he could finish his statement.

"It's O.K., Seeley, really," Hannah said, and when Booth looked at her, he saw that she looked sad but not crushed, and somewhat regretful herself. "Being a wife is something that I have thought about, and you would definitely make a wonderful husband." She smiled at him—he had so many great qualities, and she had been lucky to find him. "However, you already know that I'm not interested in having kids, at least not that way. And at this point in my life, settling down to be a wife and mother, saying goodbye to the excitement of field reporting…" She trailed off.

"You're not ready to do that." Booth stated this as a fact. He had known, when he started the relationship with her, that although they had great chemistry together and many things in common, they were not on the same page with their careers as it affected home and family.

Hannah nodded. "I still feel as if there are more stories out there, waiting to be told. This experience with the Press Corps was a good one, and I've learned plenty and met a number of good contacts. However, the nomad in me isn't ready to give up the excitement of the chase and the thrill of the unknown." She became more animated as she thought about where her career had been and where she hoped it would still take her.

"It is somewhat ironic, isn't it, that I've had more than enough excitement and would really love to settle down into a somewhat 'normal' life," Booth said, shaking his head. They both sat in silence for a few moments, pondering the impending death of their romantic relationship.

Hannah considered leaving the conversation here, with them agreeing that their ideal lifestyles were currently in different directions, but she felt that she owed it both to Seeley and to a certain D.C. friend of hers to press on for the remaining details of his dream.

"You still haven't told me who she was, the dream wife," Hannah said, her tone a little lighter now that she and Booth had been really honest with each other. She did love him, and even if she wasn't going to be in his future she still wanted him to be happy.

Booth tried and failed to hold back a grimace and ended up making a rather strange face. Hannah had to laugh a little—it was a rather absurd situation. "I think I know who it is—I want to know if I'm right," she said encouragingly.

Looking at her face and seeing that she wasn't really angry that he had been dreaming about someone else, Booth decided that he did owe it to her to tell her the truth. He sighed, then said, "It was Bones."

* * *

**A/N:** _As you can hopefully tell from my writing, I don't have anything against Hannah, as a person specifically. I just hate that she is in the middle of B&B and that Booth is being an idiot with her instead of focusing his energy where it belongs. I think (hope?) that she and Booth will realize that they may have many things in common but are at opposite ends on some of the really important stuff. (Like what "home and family" means.)_

_Anyway, soon Booth will talk to Brennan about his newly single status. __ But don't get too excited—there are still some issues for them to work through before we get our happy B&B ending._


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** _At long last, here is the next chapter. I'm not entirely sure why I've been putting it off—although if procrastination was an Olympic sport I'd have a wall full of gold medals. _

_Just as a reminder—I started this story before the revelations of 6.09. Also I have not yet watched 6.10, and I wanted to finish this conversation in my own way before watching that episode. _

_

* * *

_Chapter 11

"_It was Bones."_ The woman Booth had been dreaming about was his partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan. Hannah had guessed correctly—she had always known there was something else going on between the two of them, even if they had never technically been dating.

Hannah smiled wryly. "That's who I figured it was," she said, shaking her head. "I think somehow I knew that you and I were temporary, while the connection you have with Temperance is permanent. Something about the way you talked about her, the look in your eyes when you thought she was in trouble or in danger…" Hannah trailed off. "Even though things seemed a little strained between you two sometimes when I was around, it was obvious that you two share something very special." Hannah sounded sad and resigned, but she did not feel angry.

Booth allowed himself to smile a little, thinking about some of the many good things he and Bones had shared in the past. Unfortunately, his present relationship with the anthropologist was in a much more precarious state.

"About a month or so before I left for Afghanistan, before I even knew I would be asked to go, Bones and I had a conversation," Booth began, hesitantly.

"Go on," Hannah said, encouragingly.

"The short version is that I asked her to try a romantic relationship with me," Booth continued. Hannah couldn't help the small gasp of surprise that escaped her mouth. Considering how things currently stood between Booth and Brennan, Hannah had guessed that neither had been open about their feelings.

Booth nodded in Hannah's direction, acknowledging her reaction, before adding, "But I didn't do it right—I forgot to tell her one of the most important things." Booth sighed, wondering how things could have been different if he hadn't been so impulsive that night. "I told her I wanted to be with her, but I didn't tell her that I loved her." His regret over the situation was very evident in his tone and expression. "And she said no, she didn't want to change our relationship. And I accepted that answer and told her I would need to move on."

Hannah reached over and placed a hand lightly on his arm. "I'm sorry, Seeley. I knew when I met you that you were nursing a broken heart. I tried to help you fix that."

Booth smiled at Hannah. "You did help me. After Bones turned me down, I didn't know what to do. I was so hurt, and I was angry at her, and yet we kept working together…" His voice trailed off in a mixture of emotions, his earlier smile gone.

Hannah looked into Booth's eyes, seeing the remembered anguish. "So you chose to remove yourself from that situation for a while, and to try to find someone else," she said.

Booth nodded. "I tried to move on, but…" He didn't want to say what they both knew.

Hannah finished the thought for him. "You couldn't. You're still in love with her." Now that Hannah had said that fact out loud, she felt oddly relieved. She didn't need to pretend there was nothing between Booth and Brennan.

"I'm sorry, Hannah, that things happened this way…" Booth said, ruefully. "I do love you," he said, and his tone told Hannah that he was sincere.

"And I love you," Hannah said, smiling a little again. "But you and I are not destined to be together."

Booth was surprised at Hannah's choice of words. "You think that Bones and I still have a chance?"

"Seeley, after everything you've been through, both individually and together, you've both continued to fight to keep your friendship intact. If that isn't the kind of love that will last a lifetime, then I don't know what kind would," Hannah said warmly. "It's the kind of love that I need to look for, for myself."

Booth reached out and gave Hannah a hug. "Thank you, for everything. And I hope you do find someone who will love you completely, the way we all deserve to be loved."

"We should keep in touch—I want to know how things go with Temperance. And I'll be moved out of the apartment before tonight," Hannah added.

Booth reacted as Hannah predicted he would: "Hannah, you don't need to move out today… You can stay until you find another place." Even if they weren't going to be dating anymore, he still wanted to look out for her.

"Don't worry too much about me, Seeley," Hannah said, smiling. "You know I don't have too much stuff. I'll just get a hotel room for now, and I'm going to see if someone wants me to cover a story overseas."

Booth smiled genuinely. "I'm sure many editors would be very glad to have you reporting for them."

"Thanks," Hannah said. "I'll call you later when I get settled, and when I know where I'll be heading next." She initiated a hug this time, and then kissed Booth on the cheek. With one last smile for him, she left his office, shutting the door behind her.

Booth sat back in his chair, and he began to ponder how he was going to make things right with Bones. This time, he wasn't going to take _no_ for an answer. They had both had a taste of what life was like when they were apart, and he had no desire to live like that anymore.

* * *

**A/N:** _Here endeth Booth and Hannah-again. Obviously I foresee an amicable end—their relationship just doesn't seem that overly emotional to me. Only time will tell where the show will take B/H—I'm just going to keep hoping for B&B._


End file.
